It was the best of times…it was the worst of times..

Kind of a dramatic title, isn’t it? What a rollercoaster ride the past week has been. Physically it has probably been the toughest since I started this journey. Which kind of messed with me because I thought all that nonsense was over. I can attribute the medical attack to a few things: a very energetic puppy, the heat (heat exacerbates problems with M.S. Think it’s been hot???), life stress, and honestly because the sky was blue. In other words, there is no reason.

I knew that my energy as waning, and I just didn’t feel “good”, but I was determined “it” wouldn’t win so I didn’t stop. However, when I worked out with a friend on Saturday, I ended up having a bad fall. Now the GOOD thing is it wasn’t my gym so people didn’t know me or what was up. The people around me laughed when I fell – until I didn’t get up. The lady next to me was so good. She didn’t miss a beat with her workout, but said under her breath “Are you ok?” I mentioned I had MS and that it takes me a while to get up sometimes. She slowed down and asked me “Do you need help, or would you rather do it yourself?” I thanked her and said I’d rather do it myself, and she let me. Although I did notice the sideway glances to make sure I was ok. :) This was the PERFECT response. Caring, and yet letting me do it my way. Because let’s face it – as much as I’d LOVE to think it will never happen again, it might so I have to figure out for myself what to do in case no one is around.

When I went to work out with Jake Monday I was a MESS. Because MS is a neurological disease it can really mess with your emotions. I was crying, thinking I was regressing, that I was going to have to give my puppy up (which just caused me to cry more). My knee (which is permanently swollen and disfigured from past falls) was even MORE swollen, to the point I couldn’t bend it. And it HURT. Jake just stopped me and said, let’s not work out. Let’s just talk. He told me to take a deep breath. Relax. He’s been through attacks before with me, so he knew what to do. You’d think I would too, but sometimes you don’t always think clearly during these times.

Then Jake did something that is so far above and beyond. I was his last client – he said he’d follow me home and walk my dog so I could ice my knee. Then afterwards he just talked to me for a bit before leaving. Now do you see why I refer to him as Jake the Great?

Yesterday (aside from the still swollen knee) I was feeling MUCH better. I got a call that I will tell you more about later. Let’s just say a national organization is granting me a scholarship for additional training. By helping me, they have not only agreed to pay for additional training for ME, but set a national precedent to help others down the road. (The client must first pay for initial training themselves and be able to show the benefit of the training.) This is something I worked for MONTHS on, not just for ME, but for others. And it could not have come at a better time.

So what have I learned from all this? Well, MS is a monster that will occasionally rear its ugly head. BUT because I am in better shape, I am better able to bounce back (no pun intended). And honestly (and this is strange) because I work out so much, I have learned how to fall so it lessens the impact. And when I DO fall, even though I look awkward as heck, I CAN get up on my own now. This used to be impossible. Even though it was the middle of the floor with nothing to climb up on, rather than drawing MORE attention to me by having to ask for help, I was able to just get up myself. This may not seem like much to you, but it is something Jake and I have been working on - how to get up off the floor when there isn’t anything around. And MAYBE I should learn that there are times it is ok to just chillax. The puppy will not always be a puppy (or Lord, PLEASE). But also, I’m learning to continue to enjoy the journey. ALL of it. And NOT look for an excuse to NOT work out – rather appreciate what it has done for me. But also I’ve learned that I am not in this journey alone. Whatever I am doing is for me, but it is also for others And NEVER EVER EVER STOP. NEVER. But it is ok to sometimes ask for or accept help.

So see why I say it was the best of times, it was the worst of time? What trainers do is so much more than just spend an hour or so helping us get fit. Many of you become counselors, confessors, therapists and friends. And sometimes help us to get up off the floor. On behalf of all the clients out there I say a very heartfelt, “THANK YOU!”