Bittersweet

You know, I was all excited about February 1st; this marks 16 years since my first medically documented episode of M.S. As I told a man at church yesterday I wish I could bottle how well I feel. If I could, I’d be a millionaire overnight. This journey has been so exciting and life-changing that I honestly some days feel like I could take off and fly!

Then I got the call from my Mom last night that my uncle who also suffered from M.S. had died from complications of the disease. Talk about having your wings clipped.

Then I began to reflect on my uncle’s life. The things that stand out to me was his active lifestyle pre-diagnosis. Like the summers he spent playing his beloved baseball. And how every Saturday night how he would take my aunt to the Elks Club where they would Swing Dance the night away. I remember once driving to the small town where they lived for one of the dances, and how they had a Shiny Belt Buckle dance. He explained to me that’s when the men have the big ol’ belt buckles on, and they dance so close to their partners that by the end of the dance their buckle was shiny. Those are things I treasure.

The memory that I won’t take with me is his quiet acceptance of the disease and its progression. Unlike him, I will NEVER accept this disease. I’ve forgotten that there is a bigger picture here – not just today – but tomorrow. And my tomorrow will be stronger, more determined for a better future for me, and everyone else. But it will also be filled with a little more joy and appreciation for the gift that life is.

It shows me that this is the correct path - I was going to say for me - but I think it is THE answer. Correct your diet and work out. It isn't always easy - but like I always say - it is ALWAYS worth it. People with the disease ask me how I can work out, don't I get tired? More tired than you'll ever know, but I would get tired sitting on the couch too. At least this way I feel like I've accomplished something. And the fatigue factor lifts, and when it does, man do I feel good!

So whether the grind of your job, your family, or just life has gotten to you, take a second. Take a deep breath, and truly enjoy the moment. Laugh a little deeper, love a little more, and forgive a LOT more.

When I work out with Jake tonight I think I’ll ask if I we can use the piece of equipment that I love because it makes me feel like I’m flying. I feel the need to just fly tonight.