"I ain't skeered"

What a ride! April 16th will mark the one year anniversary from when I first stepped into Club Fitness. I think I cancelled 5 appointments before I FINALLY got the guts to show up. And when I did come in I had a hard time walking on the tiled floors, even WITH my cane. But I KNEW that it was time to take back my life. Both for me and for others who need to know it can be done.

What a difference a year makes!!! Last night Jake the Great said I am just now really beginning to do the hard core stuff (ok, hardER stuff). He still has to be on his feet around me, occasionally steadying me, but I can now do the “little things”: like jumping on and off the Elliptical Machine. I remember when I fell the first time I tried to get on it; I thought I never would. Today I may only do increments of a quarter mile at a time; but hey, I’m doing them!!! Rather than doing strictly cardio bikes on the weekend,” J the G” has me on a whole routine of Elliptical, pull- ups, and push-ups of some type: 4 sets of 25 each. The first time I did them I thought I’d die, but today I LOVE it!!! I even met a lady at the gym who decided training wasn’t for her right now, so she meets with me on the weekend and we work out together. I laughed because I’m now the one going “come on, you can do it – 10 more. 5 more.” And count her down.

But my favorite thing at the gym - bar none – is the back extension. When I’m on it I feel as if I am flying. It was one of the first machines I could do that it didn’t matter if my legs were weak. I’ll just brace myself and fly! Whenever I’m having a tough night, Jake will say “Want to fly?” It ALWAYS makes me feel better.

Sometimes I get so incredibly physically tired, and discouraged about where I am and how hard the simplest things seem to be. Then I think about where I WAS, and the smile starts to form. I’ve also learned that self-pity is a luxury I no longer have. But really, do any of us? When I get really tired I tend to become more emotional. The other morning I started to tear up a little, then took a deep breath and said out loud (while looking in the mirror) KNOCK IT OFF. YOU WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THIS. THERE IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO DO!!! From the sounds in the condo upstairs I may have been a little louder than I intended. But that’s ok. :)

So I’m trying to adopt the same motto for life that I have when ”J the G” asks me if I want to try adding more weights. We always laugh because my answer is always the same “I ain’t skeered”.