When speaking to JC on the phone, he reminded me that it was around this time last year we first spoke. He had asked me to contribute an article to the DFM newsletter. So I searched and came up with out original correspondence of 6-30-09. Hope it makes you smile as much as me. Oh, and none of the 3 amigos are still in my gym. But I have a whole boatload of NEW Amigos. And of course, Jake the Great :)
My email to JC: Man has this been cathartic. I cried every time I rewrote below. And “verbose” is a wonderful way to describe me. As a matter of fact, when I looked it up in the dictionary it said “see Janet”.
Oh, and I’m much younger, thinner and prettier than the picture.
Hope this makes sense!
ARTICLE
Why am I so driven? Because last winter I felt myself slowly dying. Today I feel life inside me. My first medially diagnosed episode of Multiple Sclerosis was in 1994. Last winter I fell often, hurt, was in constant pain and after 15 years with this disease was just tired. In 15 years I have tried everything from weekly injections to acupuncture and crystals – all with little to no success. But I decided I would not go down without one last all-out effort. When I joined the gym in April I literally had to walk in using my cane. My 3 Amigos were waiting for me: my trainer extraordinaire and new friend-for-life Ryan, and the two Mikes. From Day One I was never treated like a 2nd class citizen. They told me they would be with me through my entire journey, and have been. It hasn’t always been easy. When I started, Ryan had to help me find where to place the cane within easy grasp because I needed it get on and off all the equipment, and around the gym. Today, 2 months later, I no longer even bring the cane with me. For the first time in YEARS I can stand up from a seated position without leaning on anything or anyone. It bears repeating because it is so significant: I feel life, not death, in my veins. My desire is for EVERYONE who has given up hope, to find it again. To know you are all here for them. To Ryan specifically, and to ALL of you, I say a heartfelt thank you – you are doing so much more than just helping people lose weight (which in and of itself is important). Every one of you has literally helped save my life. And one benefit I’ve discovered from working out – I’m too tired to be depressed. J
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Roadblocks
You know, in life you will always have roadblocks on your path. Sometimes it is disease, injury, financial, job loss, companion loss, death, or maybe just a plateau in your weight loss. This has been a tough week for me, and I was at a point I was REALLY having a pity party, until a very good friend said “stop being a drama queen and get on with your life”. Now maybe I wasn’t initially receptive to her, but the words began to set in. It is so easy to over-react to people and situations. But we all have to resolve in our hearts that the decisions we make in life are forever, regardless of outside influences. The primary focus in my life currently is faith, nutrition, exercise, and a continuing commitment to health. Everything else, get out of the way!
So what do we do when these events occur? Well, first of all own up to our personal responsibility, change what we can, and vow to never repeat the mistake. And then learn to just let go and go on. And it is easier said than done, I KNOW. But really, what is the alternative? Because the one thing I have personally learned is negativity CAN and WILL influence your health. Is it worth it?
So I vow to start anew (again) with a new attitude. (Why am I thinking of Patti Labelle right now?) Want to join me?
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Always new goals.
I've had this pair of jean in my closet for 6 months now. They were really cute jeans that were WAY small when I bought them. Yesterday I wore them to work! I was so excited they fit. ESPECIALLY in light of the fact that I haven’t been losing much in pounds. Now I have been losing inches, just not pounds. Apparently because I get a bit of an “attitude” when I don’t see the scales go down much, Jake said I am 100% and permanently banned from the scales. Period.
So I came home kind of in a funk, and tried on the jeans as part of my pity party. Imagine how amazed I was that they fit!! The pity party went out the window and it made me realize that maybe there is a reason he is the trainer and I am the trainee.
It also made me think of goals, because I can’t believe these were my goal jeans. It is time to get another, and smaller, pair of new goal jeans. As I was talking to a good friend about this she started laughing. She said “do you remember what your goal was this time last year?” Then it hit me – it was to walk without my cane. Today walking is so second nature to me, that I forget that this was my goal for YEARS. So maybe I’m not the size I hoped I would be. Maybe I still get UBER tired after a challenging workout. Guess what? I’m tired because I’m DOING something and more importantly, am ABLE to do something. So my new goal isn’t to wear a smaller size, it is to figure out how I can reach as many people as possible and let them know that they too can set and OBTAIN new goals. Seemingly unobtainable goals. Seemingly……
Oh, and to wear a smaller size. J
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monologue from The Big Kahuna
I know I posted recently, and will probably soon again. But early this morning I caught the end of a movie with some of the most wonderful monologue - I just had to share it.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are NOT as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
From The Big Kahuna
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are NOT as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Encourage someone you don't know today
There are a lot of people working out hard every day and rarely, if ever, saying anything to anyone (or so I’ve heard, I talk to walls). So today my challenge to you is to say an encouraging word or phrase to someone you don’t know, for no reason.
I don’t care if it’s “good effort” or “I can really tell you’re working hard today”, there is something you can say to EVERYONE.
By the way, have I told you all how nice you look today? ;)
I don’t care if it’s “good effort” or “I can really tell you’re working hard today”, there is something you can say to EVERYONE.
By the way, have I told you all how nice you look today? ;)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
"I ain't skeered"
What a ride! April 16th will mark the one year anniversary from when I first stepped into Club Fitness. I think I cancelled 5 appointments before I FINALLY got the guts to show up. And when I did come in I had a hard time walking on the tiled floors, even WITH my cane. But I KNEW that it was time to take back my life. Both for me and for others who need to know it can be done.
What a difference a year makes!!! Last night Jake the Great said I am just now really beginning to do the hard core stuff (ok, hardER stuff). He still has to be on his feet around me, occasionally steadying me, but I can now do the “little things”: like jumping on and off the Elliptical Machine. I remember when I fell the first time I tried to get on it; I thought I never would. Today I may only do increments of a quarter mile at a time; but hey, I’m doing them!!! Rather than doing strictly cardio bikes on the weekend,” J the G” has me on a whole routine of Elliptical, pull- ups, and push-ups of some type: 4 sets of 25 each. The first time I did them I thought I’d die, but today I LOVE it!!! I even met a lady at the gym who decided training wasn’t for her right now, so she meets with me on the weekend and we work out together. I laughed because I’m now the one going “come on, you can do it – 10 more. 5 more.” And count her down.
But my favorite thing at the gym - bar none – is the back extension. When I’m on it I feel as if I am flying. It was one of the first machines I could do that it didn’t matter if my legs were weak. I’ll just brace myself and fly! Whenever I’m having a tough night, Jake will say “Want to fly?” It ALWAYS makes me feel better.
Sometimes I get so incredibly physically tired, and discouraged about where I am and how hard the simplest things seem to be. Then I think about where I WAS, and the smile starts to form. I’ve also learned that self-pity is a luxury I no longer have. But really, do any of us? When I get really tired I tend to become more emotional. The other morning I started to tear up a little, then took a deep breath and said out loud (while looking in the mirror) KNOCK IT OFF. YOU WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THIS. THERE IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO DO!!! From the sounds in the condo upstairs I may have been a little louder than I intended. But that’s ok. :)
So I’m trying to adopt the same motto for life that I have when ”J the G” asks me if I want to try adding more weights. We always laugh because my answer is always the same “I ain’t skeered”.
What a difference a year makes!!! Last night Jake the Great said I am just now really beginning to do the hard core stuff (ok, hardER stuff). He still has to be on his feet around me, occasionally steadying me, but I can now do the “little things”: like jumping on and off the Elliptical Machine. I remember when I fell the first time I tried to get on it; I thought I never would. Today I may only do increments of a quarter mile at a time; but hey, I’m doing them!!! Rather than doing strictly cardio bikes on the weekend,” J the G” has me on a whole routine of Elliptical, pull- ups, and push-ups of some type: 4 sets of 25 each. The first time I did them I thought I’d die, but today I LOVE it!!! I even met a lady at the gym who decided training wasn’t for her right now, so she meets with me on the weekend and we work out together. I laughed because I’m now the one going “come on, you can do it – 10 more. 5 more.” And count her down.
But my favorite thing at the gym - bar none – is the back extension. When I’m on it I feel as if I am flying. It was one of the first machines I could do that it didn’t matter if my legs were weak. I’ll just brace myself and fly! Whenever I’m having a tough night, Jake will say “Want to fly?” It ALWAYS makes me feel better.
Sometimes I get so incredibly physically tired, and discouraged about where I am and how hard the simplest things seem to be. Then I think about where I WAS, and the smile starts to form. I’ve also learned that self-pity is a luxury I no longer have. But really, do any of us? When I get really tired I tend to become more emotional. The other morning I started to tear up a little, then took a deep breath and said out loud (while looking in the mirror) KNOCK IT OFF. YOU WILL NOT GIVE IN TO THIS. THERE IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO DO!!! From the sounds in the condo upstairs I may have been a little louder than I intended. But that’s ok. :)
So I’m trying to adopt the same motto for life that I have when ”J the G” asks me if I want to try adding more weights. We always laugh because my answer is always the same “I ain’t skeered”.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Fear
You know, I didn’t realize how much a part fear played in a lot of areas of my life until it was brought to my attention recently. I think that one reason I had gained weight was because it protected me from so many things. And now that covering is disappearing, I kind of feel vulnerable. But I like the definition of insanity someone told me: doing things the same way you’ve always done them and yet expecting different results. One thing this journey has taught me is that if you want change, then YOU must change. Sounds simple, but it isn’t always.
Now some of the fear was/is founded. The fear of falling is valid because it HURTS to fall (and is embarrassing as heck). And the reality of my life is that occasionally I fall. But Jake the Great and I made an interesting discovery the other day. When I am doing a modified plank with one foot and arm up, it is very frightening to me and outside my comfort zone. But if he just lightly touched me on my back, all of a sudden I became steady and could do it. He wasn’t holding me up. He wasn’t steadying me. All he did was lightly touch me. Yet when he moved his hand away, I began to lose my balance. It took me a while to figure out it was because I knew as long as I knew he was there, he wouldn’t let me fall. Just the lightest touch gave me reassurance he was close by.
Isn’t that how it is in life? When we’re trying something new that is unfamiliar or scary and we’re alone, we tend to waiver. Yet when there is someone we trust close by, it gives us the courage to do new things. There are definitely spiritual lessons I’ve learned from this, but also practical ones. I want to be the woman I thought I’d be when I was a little girl. The one who tries new things: sometimes successfully, sometimes not. But I tend to think of life as a ladder. Sometimes we take a step up. Sometimes down. But we don’t ever go all the way to the top or the bottom unless we CHOOSE to. So today I choose to take a deep breath and take the lessons I’ve learned from this fitness journey into other areas of my life. If you see a woman alone tonight listening to one of her favorite jazz/blues singers because her friends had other plans, it might be me. Say hello and find out.
Now some of the fear was/is founded. The fear of falling is valid because it HURTS to fall (and is embarrassing as heck). And the reality of my life is that occasionally I fall. But Jake the Great and I made an interesting discovery the other day. When I am doing a modified plank with one foot and arm up, it is very frightening to me and outside my comfort zone. But if he just lightly touched me on my back, all of a sudden I became steady and could do it. He wasn’t holding me up. He wasn’t steadying me. All he did was lightly touch me. Yet when he moved his hand away, I began to lose my balance. It took me a while to figure out it was because I knew as long as I knew he was there, he wouldn’t let me fall. Just the lightest touch gave me reassurance he was close by.
Isn’t that how it is in life? When we’re trying something new that is unfamiliar or scary and we’re alone, we tend to waiver. Yet when there is someone we trust close by, it gives us the courage to do new things. There are definitely spiritual lessons I’ve learned from this, but also practical ones. I want to be the woman I thought I’d be when I was a little girl. The one who tries new things: sometimes successfully, sometimes not. But I tend to think of life as a ladder. Sometimes we take a step up. Sometimes down. But we don’t ever go all the way to the top or the bottom unless we CHOOSE to. So today I choose to take a deep breath and take the lessons I’ve learned from this fitness journey into other areas of my life. If you see a woman alone tonight listening to one of her favorite jazz/blues singers because her friends had other plans, it might be me. Say hello and find out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
